It’s already been a year?
It was shocking when I finished that last post and realized that I had essentially finished what I had set out to do. It had become a daily routine, and I realized that I wouldn’t have to log in and do this on a daily (or… you know… not so daily) basis any longer. It’s liberating, but so very tragic at the same time. I’m the type of person who likes to document things. I like lists, agendas, planning, accurate facts regarding every little thing in life… I like to remember, to relive, to look back. On a personal level, even though this blog is very anonymous, it’s also very intimate. Despite the fact that I never went into explicit detail about how the deed was done (in my opinion), it was still sharing quite a private aspect of our lives.
Let me just say that I am utterly disappointed that the last two days were so void of sex! I told him this afterwards and he demanded that I write in all the sex that we had the following day (and it was quite a lot) to compensate. However, that wouldn’t be real any more.
So the answer the question, do the sparks go out?
Unfortunately, but truthfully, I do believe it is happening for us. I remember a time when we used to have sex at least twice a day and not be able to keep our hands off of each other. However, almost 3 years later, I guess that does change. The petulant part of me wants to pout and say that circumstances have changed, he’s so much busier, I’ve started working full time, and we both have social lives to maintain, so it’s not a loss of sparks, but a mere loss of time. Yes, it is true. However, maybe I’m still being petulant when I say that if two people really wanted it, then they’d make time, regardless of everything else. I recognize the impossibility of it, but that does not mean I’m not upset by it. In fact, I am often upset when he doesn’t have time for sex with me. As evident in some of the blog entries.
I don’t want to equate “sparks” with emotions or attraction or attachment because I still think we’re emotionally attached (if not more) and I’m still attracted to him. When he would look at me from across the room, I still blush and my heart rate quickens. I also want to speak scientifically of the fact that if one couple has a high libido, their “spark” is going to continue longer than a couple that has a lower dosage of libido. At the same time, I cannot stress more about communication in a relationship. Telling each other about feelings and emotions without blaming/pointing fingers enhances growth and strengthens trust. I must admit I am guilty of not communicating at times as my personality makes me shut off the world and retrieve into my little shell to fume and am quite easily reduced to tears, it’s definitely something I’m trying to improve upon.
So now, I’m going to “talk” to him about when he’s planning on wrapping up his work for tonight and do something else. 😉
Last but not least. I want to thank everyone who’s read, followed, liked, commented on this blog! I hope it served as a little piece of entertainment for you. I tried to be as authentic as I could, but obviously difficult as it is quite a personal matter.
Happy pleasing! 🙂
365 Days of Sex 